Saturday, November 6, 2010

Guest Post with Author Scott Nicholson & Kindle Giveaway

Author Scott Nicholson is visiting my blog today as part of his Kindle Giveaway Blog Tour. Scott writes creepy, scary books and entertaining blog posts, and gives away Kindles as well! You can't beat that, at least not on my blog.

As a minor aside--my books are very different than Scott's, but I think we might have had the same agent once. :-)

Read on to learn more.

The Worst Novel Ever Written
By Scott Nicholson
http://www.hauntedcomputer.com/

As I Die Lying is quite possibly the worst novel ever written.

It’s in the running for Top 10 worldwide, at least. And I should have thrown it away many times, but it’s sort of my unauthorized autobiography. And it’s been rejected 117 times, just like it says in the book.

I started the novel as my first serious attempt, back in 1996 when I decided it was time to “be a writer when I grew up.” I’d written a Kurt Vonnegut knock-off in high school, but this time I was going to write a real novel that I could send to publishers. I wrote the first draft in three months, while I was writing short stories in various genres. “The Insider” started out as a first-person serial killer novel, which was probably already overdone even back then.

I started sending the novel out while I wrote two more, and the form rejections came streaming back in. This was in the days when you could still find dozens of publishers to reject you, and agents would actually send back a piece of paper that said, “No, thank you.” Now, they rarely even bother to say “No,” much less “thank you.”

After a pile of such rejections, I decided to overhaul the novel, taking what I’d learned from writing the other books. I shucked probably two-thirds of it and changed the tone a little, deciding not to take serial killing so seriously. It was in that revision process that I first felt like a real writer, because I could move aside my worship of my brilliant prose and say “Wow, this stuff sucks major donkey nostril.” That meant I had room to grow, and the book had lots of room for improvement.

I sent the book around a little more before I finally sold a different book through the slush, got an agent, and did that whole New York thing. That novel didn’t even come back up until a few years ago, and I didn’t have a contract, so I decided to make the novel a little more over the top. What could it hurt, right?

My agent initially “liked it a lot,” and gave me that little talk about this being the one to “go out with,” meaning the agent stakes a reputation on drumming up hype between publishers. However, he said, “Can you make it more like Stephen King?” Specifically, “Secret Garden Secret Window,” in which there’s a crazy writer. I took off and made it even more over the top, mailed it back in, and waited. And waited. Finally I phoned the agent and said “So, what did you think?”

The answer: “About what?”

“You know, the book you asked me to revise.” (The book that I’ve only worked on for a decade already, but happily put in a couple more months to keep you a happy and enthusiastic partner…)
“Eh…I didn’t like it.”

“Okay.” (Except you sound suspiciously like you never actually read it.) “Talk to you later.”

Several months later: “Dear agent, since we aren’t selling anything, it is best for us to part ways…”

Two years later, I decided there wasn’t much left to do with it except get it to the people I wanted to reach in the first place: readers. It’s the kind of book that some people will absolutely despise, but it also has an audience waiting. An audience that doesn’t even know it needs the book.

Richard Coldiron (that’s me) has four people living his head, generally mucking things up. As Richard works on his autobiography (which is the novel), an ancient, soul-hopping spirit possesses him and demands a co-writing credit and some foot-kissing dark worship. Now the book has been rejected 117 times, the people he loves keep turning up dead, and here comes the woman of his dreams.

In the style of Chuck Palahniuk, the “Dexter” series, and Bret Easton Ellis, but not as good, it’s the novel you probably never thought you’d read. I’m not even sure it’s a novel. But it won’t waste your time. It may be the worst novel in the world, but it’s the best one I’ve ever written.

Plus, it would really tickle me if a book rejected that many times could actually make the bestseller list. Available for 99 cents for a limited time only. (And that’s a subliminal message, brought to you by the evil spirit stealing Richard’s byline…)

--------------------------------------
Scott Nicholson is author of 12 novels, including the thrillers Speed Dating with the Dead, Drummer Boy, Forever Never Ends, The Skull Ring, Burial to Follow ,and They Hunger. His revised novels for the U.K. Kindle are Creative Spirit, Troubled, and Solom. He’s also written four comic series, six screenplays, and more than 60 short stories. His story collections include Ashes, The First, Murdermouth: Zombie Bits, and Flowers.

To be eligible for the Kindle DX or Kindle 3, simply post a comment below with contact info. Feel free to debate and discuss the topic, but you will only be entered once per blog. Visit all the blogs on the tour and increase your odds. I’m also giving away a Kindle 3 through the tour newsletter and a Pandora’s Box of free e-books to a follower of “hauntedcomputer” on Twitter. Thanks for playing. Complete details at http://www.hauntedcomputer.com/blogtour.htm

110 comments:

Jeff said...

“Wow, this stuff sucks major donkey nostril.” You definitely have a way with words! We had snow yesterday! How long before you guys catch up? Perhaps before the end of your circuitous tour. I am so happy that success is coming your way, and by doing it... the American way! (Enter patriotic music)

Jeff White.... whitejw@ameritech.net

Jeff said...

I'm not totally wierd, the time is really 7:30. I don't get the imprinting of time...somewhere out in the Atlantic...Iceland?

Arkansas Patti said...

Just added "Disintegration" to my Kindle yesterday and will go back today to get "As I Die Lying."
I really enjoyed your coming of age as a writer. A painful process not many are willing to take and I love to hear about from the safety of my chair.
Since I all ready own and love a Kindle, guess I am out of the running. Good luck to all.

Dee Martin said...

this reads like a dare lol - I dare you to waste your 99 cents and read this book! I hate dares. I almost always have to take the "darer" up on them so I will be running over to drop my 99 cents now lol

deedeekm@gmail.com

Randy said...

To think I've purchased the worst book ever written. Can't wait to start reading it and see just how bad it really is.

randymir@gmail.com

Cathy W said...

how could you go wrong for less then a buck?
cjwallace43 at gmail dot com

Karina said...

hufflepuffgrl13@yahoo.com

Barbarawr said...

I'd love to win a Kindle! I had never heard of Scott Nicholson until this tour, but I think I'd like his books so I just requested a few at the library.

Email address is in blogger profile

Kippoe said...

I purchased the book when it first came out and it is next in line on my TBR list, looking forward to it

vickyvak said...

Great post!

vicky.vak8(at)gmail.com

author Christa Polkinhorn said...

"As I Die Lying" is the BEST "worst" novel ever written. Trust me. I take full responsibility for that statement. You can send me nasty emails if you don't agree with me, you can even send Richard Coldiron with a knife after me.
Christa
cpolkinhorn@msn.com

Neal Hock said...

I loved reading this book. I agree with Christa, it's the best "worst" book ever written. It's unlike any of Scott's other works. In fact, it's unlike anything else I've ever read.

-Neal

Bonnie G. said...

Now I've just got to pick up this one.

bonnje@embarqmail.com

Inspired Kathy said...

Please enter me.
bkhabel at gmail dot com

Ashley (Ashley's Bookshelf) said...

Enter me please!

ashleysbookshelf[at]gmail[dot]com

Tania said...

I'd love to win a DX!

Candace said...

Another entertaining post! I'll have to grab it for .99 for my phone. Not sure I'll ever read it, just cause I hate reading on my phone, but it might be good for when I'm stuck without a book somewhere. Plus I really want a kindle!

candace_redinger at yahoo dot com

tom said...

Sorry, Scott, but a kindly soul at Barnes and Noble has already claimed my 'Time Zone' as the worst novel ever written. Better luck next time!

lichtenberg.tom@gmail.com

chey said...

Wow! Interesting post!

chey127 at hotmail dot com

Monster A Go-Go said...

"It may be the worst novel in the world, but it’s the best one I’ve ever written."

I am sure that, when I eventually read it (in paperback form*) (*another subliminal message), I will agree with you--that it's the best you've ever written...especially when it previously sucked "major donkey nostril" before the rewrite. (And if that isn't a great way to promote a book --It used to suck donkey nostrils--I don't know what is. Too bad Oprah doesn't have a Kindle book club--hint! hint!--or she might have you on)

Uber busy today--but wouldn't miss a blog tour stop! Cheers to you, Scott!

monapete said...

Great Contest!

monacart32 at hotmail dot com

LaQ said...

Pretty inteesting post. lol

Count me in for a Kindle! :D

LaQuiet(at)gmail(dot)com

lorraine_lanning said...

Fun post Scott! I like the multiple personality angle, I'm not sure the world can handle more than one versio of you though!

I did my part in adding As I Die Lying to my extensive To Be Read list. Sigh, so many books, so little time.

lorraine_lanning[at]yahoo[dot]com

Cathy M said...

Hey, I just bought it, Scott, so hope this helps to bump you up a notch or two over at Amazon.


caity_mack at yahoo dot com

Debra L Martin said...

Scott, that's an awesome post!

Deb

katsrus said...

Wow that's a lot of rejection's for one book. Good luck and hope you see it on the best seller list so you can show them they don't know sh#t about what readers want!! Following your tour.
Sue B
katsrus(at)gmail(dot)com

sohamolina said...

I look forward to reading this book.

eddiem11@ca.rr.com

Cathryn B said...

Scott, how inspiring to read a bio that includes 117 rejections and such self-deprecating criticism as "this stuff sucks major donkey nostril." Those of us struggling Indies need to hear the realities of mainstream publishing so we don't constantly feel like our own work "sucks major donkey nostril." Having survived 103 rejections myself, I too took matters into my own hands. Thank you for getting your message out to the masses.

cathmobo(at)gmail(dot)com

Estella said...

Hi Scott,
I'm still following you around.


kissinoak at frontier dot com

flutterbypridge said...

Wow.. hoping this book makes it just to show them what they missed out on

stepanie(.)pridgen(@)gmail(.)com

Weston said...

Well, it seems like so many rejections is the standard mode of communication between agents/publishers and writers. Maybe it gets better with other publishers.

wakincade AT gmail DOT com

Mari Adkins said...

i love your magic way with words, scott lol

author Scott Nicholson said...

@Jeff we've had snow for three days...tag, you're it

@Patti thanks for grabbing Disintegration, try to hold it together!

BTW The Red Church will soon be going off sale of 99 cents so you may want to grab it fast

@dee 99 cents is nothing, people pay that for a candy bar that last seven seconds. It's the hours of your life that are valuable!

@barbara my books are very popular with thieves at the local library. Not sure what that says about my readers...

@Christa, Richard is booking his flight to Switzerland as we speak

@candace, this book is perfect because it's very "phony" ha ha

@lorraine, Cathy thx for your support, and Cathryn, a writer must always believe more than anyone else does

@Weston I'm not down on agents--it's a very difficult job. But all partnerships must be positive, mutually supportive, and successful or both are wasting time. And I feel agents and publishers should be incredibly grateful that a writer thinks enough of them to share the work of years, not take it for granted.

Thanks to all who tweeted about As I Die Lying, it's really helped!

Scott

Books and Bane said...

How do you come up with a new blog story every day??? Crazy!!

nedsped at verizon dot net

ylime1981 said...

Thanks!
Emily ebdye1(at)gmail(dot)com

anamlgrl said...

thanks!!
anamlgrl@yahoo.com

js22 said...

it's nice to know that sometimes writers don't have instant success. But hopefully the struggles make success more valuable.
email in blogger profile.

Horror Books said...

The fact that a published writer has a book that his agent won't read and has been rejected 117 times means it's a book I need to check out.

I picked up As I Lay Dying a few minutes ago. I'm looking forward to reading it.

Is it a surreal story -- like Michael Bishop's Who made Stevie Crye?? Those are always risky but so rewarding, to me at least, to read.

Even if it's not, I'll give it a try.

Thanks for the contest,
Greg "The Undead Rat" Fisher

theundeadrat (@) gmail (.) com

Tiffany Christie said...

Great post . I'd love the chance to win ....Tiffypoot @ (aol.com)

Bev said...

Okay, okay, I'll bite! I bought it.

First I'll read "The Red Church," then "As I Die Lying." Then I'll know without a doubt if I'm a Scott Nicholson fan.

;-)

Write2Bev@gmail.com

Daemeoncatz said...

I am very interested in trying out a few books and the price is perfect. Winning a Kindle would be great as well :)

Diana said...

The longer I follow your tour the more I want a Kindle. Have to start saving up in case I don't win one. :)

byonge said...

So, the worst and best.

byonge@lonepinetv.com

Eric said...

It's refreshing to have an author such as Scott be so honest about the way the publishing world works and the path his books have taken.

calseeor (at) gmail (dot) com

Armand said...

Scott has always been a great author to me and someone who genuinely cares, especial,y about us up and coming guys... and he once did a great blurb for my novella!

Armand Rosamilia

armandrosamilia@gmail.com

misskallie2000 said...

Hi Scott, So when is your novel going to be published? It sounds pretty awesome. lol
I am still following you.

misskallie2000 at yahoo dot com

Charlotte said...

I think the book sounds very interesting. Thank you for offering this!

iloveegypt602 at yahoo dot com


http://sweepstakesbox.blogspot.com/

Brenda said...

As I Die Lying is on my Kindle to PC with a lot of other fun Scott Nicholson books, so it will be read whenever we most likely buy a Kindle for Christmas. I definitely love the beginning of the book, but do get a headache whenever reading on a computer. I am happy to find Karen McQuestion's blog, too! This is a fun tour. varbonoff22 at cox dot net

D. L. Marriott said...

Well I'm completely intrigued. If you don't give me a free kindle, I'll just have to wait and see if Santa will bring me one for Christmas, then see if he'll include a download of "As I Lay Dying" in my stocking!

Dody Marriott dodylyn@gmail.com

Douglas Dorow said...

Kindle!
dwdorow@gmail.com

mrlucky said...

Scott, count me in for the Kindle! OK, got to get back to "As I Die Lying"...
Paul
mrlucky@charter.net

Pink Panther said...

Hm.. Sounds lovely, gotta go and get that now... :)
You can reach me at luvpinkpanther@gmail.com

Bibliophile said...

No offence, but I think I will wait to see some reviews before I buy this one...

booklover0226 said...

I've enjoyed this blog tour and look forward to the other posts.

Thanks,
Tracey D
booklover0226 at gmail dot com

Inanna said...

Seriously! Stop! I can't have another Scott Nicholson book on my TBR list! It's already SO long....

DAMN. Too late. I 1-clicked it. My hard drive is groaning. :)

inannajourney at gmail dot com

Margay said...

117 rejections? Wow, now I feel like an amateur!

Margay1122(at)aol(dot)com

author Scott Nicholson said...

@Books and bane, I could write a blog post every day forever...once you guys make me a bestselling writer, I will do that! (Heck, I'll probably do it anyway)

@js22 almost NO writer has instant success! Sometimes it just looks like it from far away. Most take 10-20 years.

@greg "surreal" is probably an apt description, except it's a true story

@bev faith doesn't require evidence!

@diana I'll bet the wi-fi kindle will be $99 by Christmas

@Tom sounds like we must have write-off for "Worst Novel"!

@innani Thank you! All my books combined take up less space and cost less than your average Justin Beiber product...

everyone please tweet:
Worst novel ever, 117 rejections, why not help make it a 99-cent bestseller? http://amzn.to/9VIkOS #kindle #books PlzRT

Scott

Anonymous said...

Just bought As I Die Lying.

Nadine stacypilot at yahoo dot com

gnostalgia said...

... and the tour keeps rolling along.

Barry
anamchara@gmail.com

slehan said...

If at first you don't succeed: keep on trying.
Thanks for the contest.

Ima said...

hmmm, very interesting. I will go and check out this "worst book."

dreamer dot ima at gmail dot com

Regge Ridgway said...

Can't wait for the movie to come out. Lol great tour Scott.
reg

Anne R. Allen said...

This is hilarious. And fascinating. Can't wait to see how this goes.

I've just given you both a shout-out on my blog.

Jennifer said...

The worst book ever written...really. The cover is interesting though.

BookNoise at gmail dot com

Joseph said...

Love It!

josephafisch@gmail.com

Dale said...

Best line of the day “Wow, this stuff sucks major donkey nostril.”

dalelmurphy(at)gravesidetales(dot)com

jessica said...

LOL. I have to agree with Jeff in the very first post about you having a way with words “Wow, this stuff sucks major donkey nostril.” I never would have thought about saying something like that. lol but this is coming from someone who likes to say 'fudge monkey' when something goes wrong. :)

jessangil at gmail dot com

-Jessica

Carol said...

117 rejections - you are one persistent fellow!

stacythemagnificentmommy said...

i hope you do break that 100 to spite them!!


hancoci_s at msn dot com

Linda Kish said...

Thanks for the chance to win.

lkish77123 at gmail dot com

glitrbug said...

I'm starting the book tonight. Hopefully the ending isn't quite as bleak as "Disintegration." Sucks major donkey nostril may become my new catch phrase.

Please enter me in your drawing.

Rabid Fox said...

That's just damned amazing. 117 times? My god, what a long row to hoe.

Gail said...

I started reading "As I Die Lying"... and now I'm really scared... of Scott!
Gail in Florida
cowgirl3000 AT gmail DOT com

Sirhijinx said...

Keep up the good work!!

Teawench said...

I love the 'sucks major donkey nostril'! I just usually say something sucks donkey.
teawench at gmail dot com

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

Love this and love the picture! The cover of this book is fantastic!

journeythroughbooks@gmail.com

Sharon S. said...

who can resist buying one of the worst books ever? .

HODGEPODGESPV said...

i do love the pictures! spvaughan@yahoo.com

Vivien said...

I love the cover of this book.

deadtossedwaves at gmail dot com

Jesse said...

Got that book on my Kindle. I now have so many of your books that I have absolutely no idea which book of yours to start next!

-Jesse
conrad.jd (at) gmail (dot) com

smd said...

Really enjoying the personal stories. Nice to get to know the writer behind the books more. Thanks!

smd (at) texoma (dot) net

James Rasmussen said...

"In the style of Chuck Palahniuk, the “Dexter” series, and Bret Easton Ellis, but not as good, it’s the novel you probably never thought you’d read."

Reverse psychology...who can resist the powers of reverse psychology? Right?

Jamesemr (at) gmail (dot) com

Pale Rambler said...

As usual, Karen, your blog is helpful and inspirational. Always nice to learn about another author I might want to check out. Keep up the great work!

Mark -- palerambler@yahoo.com

Karen McQuestion said...

Thanks, Mark! I hope you win the Kindle.

Scott's been an inspiration to me too. He clearly knows how to build a following.

A.P. Fuchs said...

Ahh, the beauty of the Internet: the ability to publish a rejected manuscript and no one says boo about it.

However, at least you took the time for rewrites, edits, overhauls, etc., the stuff sometimes needed to make a book worth reading.

If anything, you’re kind of straddling the line here, yeah? The idea of a writer taking a rejected book and self-publishing it because he believes in it?

(And, yes, I crossed that line many years ago. However, the difference between you and I is I subsidy-published mine out of naivety and not really know what the reading audience required, whereas you’re doing this properly and with experience built in when creating the final product.)

Let’s hope this “sucky” book does real well for you, man.

Coscomentertainment [at] gmail [dot] com

www.canisterx.com

POSSESSION OF THE DEAD and ZOMBIE FIGHT NIGHT (and others) for just TWO BUCKS at the Amazon Kindle store. Grab your copies here!

librarypat said...

How many people write THE BOOK, but it seems they are the only ones who feel it is THE BOOK. The agents, editors, and publishers never seem to catch on. Maybe beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

If I had an e-reader, I would probably order it just to find out just how bad/good it is. Alas, no e-reader.

librarypat AT comcast DOT net

Hank Brown said...

I hate it when people take serial killers too seriously.

Twitter: MachineTrooper

author Scott Nicholson said...

@Bev, if you bite on Scott, you might get bitten back!

@SueB--agents and editors only know what they are buying and selling to each OTHER, not what readers want. It could hardly be otherwise...

@misskallie most of my work is now out but I have Cursed! coming from JR Rain this month, then some collections

@carol that rejection pile is now around 800 but i don't really save them anymore and I basically only send stuff out to YOU, the reader! You are the only one now qualified to reject me.

@James or is my "worst book" pitch my passive-aggressive shield against rejection?

@AP I fully believe those 117 people were both right and wrong. And I have revised it heavily, probably taken 300,000 words to get to this story. The important thing is that I believe in it. Why would I care what 117 people thought out of the 6.5 billion in the world? I've already sold more than 117 copies so I think I'm right!

Hank Brown said...

I hate it when people take serial killers too seriously.

Twitter: MachineTrooper

Kimberly K. said...

I must say that after so many rejections and so much time, why peg it as the worst book ever written, you should have said that it was the worst book ever re-written... Just kidding, you really persevered and I admire that.

kellysydow at yahoo dot com

Asylumgirl said...

Wow, 117 times, now that's tenacity if I've ever heard it.

Deidre
deidre_durance at hotmail dot com

Riva said...

I'm still following you around.

dulcibelle [at] earthlink [dot] net

HODGEPODGESPV said...

not sure what to think of that picture! spvaughan@yahoo.com

cicistheories said...

Wow...117 times...you are more persistent than most teenage boys trying to score a date in Smithton, IL....Your statement of worst book ever written sounds like a good read to me! I have challenged myself to read books off the banned books list, so why not the worst book list! I've been really enjoying the tour! Thanks again for a great post!

Cici
cicistheories@gmail.com

Mommy Dearest said...

As I Die Lying will be my 1st read on my new Kindle when I win it! How's that? Did I win yet?
emily_erickson@yahoo.com

Michelle @ The True Book Addict said...

Interesting post! I love the reference to the other books and authors' style it is similar to, but "not as good." LOL! That picture is majorly creepy too!

truebookaddictATgmailDOTcom

Anonymous said...

What a great angle! Can't wait to read it.

Stefanie647@msn.com

stacey said...

Thats some Crazy cover Art.
sasluvbooks(at)yahoo.com

Stacy (UrbanFantasyInvestigations) said...

I would love to be entered. Thanks

Chllybrd(at)gmail(dot)com

deanna said...

I would LOVE a Kindle DX. Thanks for the opportunity to win one! :)

P.S. Click on my name for my contact info. ;)

Emily K said...

Creepy is a great word to describe "As I Die Lying"... It's a horrifying look into the mind, yet you have to keep reading!

emilyking630 at yahoo dot com

Christina said...

My favorite books are usually the 99 cent kind!

Cmeghanb@gmail.com

Miss Delirious said...

Well at least you're being honest I guess!

gem.wood@gmail.com

Elizabeth said...

Yay Scott!

etrubrown@thefrugalereader.com
www.thefrugalereader.com

jpearson said...

i loved disintigration! Thought about it for days afterwards-- it really messed with your mind!

Bella said...

Someone else posted that you sound like you're daring us to read your book - too funny! Worst book ever? I doubt that too. You did make me smile though.

And I'd love to win a Kindle! Thanks for the chance.

BellaMarie@tampabay.rr.com

Kristie said...

Wow!! The worst novel ever, huh? I'm intrigued because I've read LOTS of novels. kristiedonelson(at)gmail(dot)com

author Scott Nicholson said...

Thanks, everyone, let's cap this rascal at 107 comments (minus Karen's, mine, and any duplicates or spambots). I appreciate all your wonderful comments--

@bella, Kristie, YES, I DARE you to read As I Die Lying!

@stacey That cover was created by Richard Coldiron while he was possessed by a malevolent soul-hopping spirit.

@Jeff the American Way is to whine and ask for an author bailout from the government...

@Julie thanks for the kind words on Disintegration--it was only rejected once...much like my wonderful love life...

Thanks for hosting, Karen!
Scott

Karen McQuestion said...

Anytime, Scott! You were a most excellent guest.

dor said...

Interesting post, agian.
dorcontest at gmail dot com